


the greatest tide washed up my prize

by sternenrotz



Series: broken hearts hurt but they make us strong (queer horror verse) [10]
Category: The Horrors (Band)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, Past Sexual Assault, Porn with Feelings, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:03:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10040342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sternenrotz/pseuds/sternenrotz
Summary: Faris wakes up in Josh's bed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> titled after "Nara" by alt-j.
> 
> set in 2005, the morning after the events of this fic ([x](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4935415)) and this fic ([x](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5334422))
> 
> as usual, Josh currently identifies as a trans guy while Faris currently identifies as cis and bi.

Faris wakes up to the sun shining right onto his eyelids once again. Once again, he’s in an unfamiliar bed, too, but this time it doesn’t take him long to remember where he is. He’s in Josh’s little student room, in his bed with Josh himself pressed against his side in some sort of half-spoon.

“Morning, Bird,” Josh drawls out as soon as Faris has turned his head to face him. His eyes are still dreary and his face slack with sleepiness, the same expression Faris presumes he’s got on his own face. “Slept well?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Well, he did. The bed’s big enough to just comfortably fit them both, and Josh’s warm and soft, too, incredibly soft in all the parts that he’s got pressed against Faris’ bare chest.

“Hey,” he says, since he feels like he should properly greet Josh in return, too.

“Hey yourself,” Josh says back, and he leans in for a kiss.

Kissing Josh’s something Faris could get used to. Josh is chapped lips and just a tiny bit of roughness in it to feel like he’s negging him with his lips, but still easy. It’s definitely easier than waking up with four people in the same bed, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now.

Now, the sun’s shining down on them through the window and adding a glow to the white of the sheets and the rosy of Josh’s face, like seeing in soft focus. The moment’s as far away from yesterday morning as it possibly could be. Goosebumps are forming on his chest, though, where he took his shirt off last night so he wouldn’t feel dirty wearing it again today. Josh rubs his warm hand over the skin and makes them fade just like that.

“Did we…?” Faris asks, even if he knows very well that they didn’t. He just wants to hear Josh say it.

“No, we didn’t,” Josh says back. “Unless you mean _huddle for warmth_.”

“Okay.”

Faris leans in for another kiss. He can feel Josh smirking into it, hear the quiet cackles that he didn’t manage to suppress against his own mouth.

“But we could,” Josh says, as if it’s the most natural thing for him to suggest in this situation. “If you like.”

“We could _what_?” It’s entirely disbelief rather than a lack of understanding when Faris asks, even if he does slide that arm he had around Josh up the back of his shirt.

“Have sex,” Josh says. “Right here, right now. I thought that’s what you meant in the first place, Bird.”

Maybe Faris enjoys that nickname a lot. “I like when you call me bird,” he says. Well, it’s much better than _Faz_ , at least. Then he asks, “why?”

He immediately realises that’s maybe not the appropriate answer when he’s being offered morning sex. _Definitely_ not the right answer, although he does feel it’s entirely understandable for him to ask in this particular situation.

“Why not?” Josh asks back. “Try it again, just to see, you know. It’s like the saying with the horse.”

The only horse-related saying Faris can think of is the one about leading it to water, but he can’t imagine that’s the metaphor Josh is looking for.

“What saying do you mean?”

“You know the one about if you fall off a horse, you need to get back up on there immediately, or you’re scared of horses for the rest of your life?”

Faris isn’t sure if that’s a principle that can be applied to anything outside of horseback riding itself. And maybe not even that. “You think it’d help?”

“Probably,” Josh says. He sounds so determined with that it’s obvious he means a lot more than _probably_.

He leans in again, and with his stupid smug grin on his face, tiny fangs peeking out from his mouth, Faris can’t resist going in for another kiss.

“Last time was shite, it doesn’t count,” Josh insists.

His hand moves up from Faris’ chest to the back of his head now, just gently petting over where the hair is matted from sleeping. It’s so easy when he pulls Faris back in, easy to let their lips slide against each other once again even with the gritty taste of an empty stomach where their mouths meet.

“But now,” Josh says when he’s pulled away, “Now we know each other. Now we’re friends and we can fuck.”

Faris isn’t sure if that’s how it works, although he guesses it’s at least partially true. The press of Josh’s chest against his through the one layer of fabric separating them is all too apparent to him of all sudden, but that’s not the part that makes him uncomfortable.

“You sure?” he asks. “You really want to?”

“ _Mate_ ,” Josh insists, draws it out before he pauses for another short kiss. “I’ve been thinking about fucking you since I first saw you, pretty much.”

He laughs, and Faris can’t say that’s a compliment he’s ever received before, but he laughs along either way.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Josh says in about the most casual way to possibly pose that question.

His skin is so warm under Faris’ hand, his mouth full and sloppy from where he licked his lips between kisses. Faris thinks back to what he remembers of the other night, just how warm and wet he is in other parts. He supposes it’s tempting, at least.

“I guess.” Which isn’t the most enthusiastic response, but he immediately leans in to kiss Josh again before he can make a snide comment.

“You tell me if you want to stop, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Josh says. “Quiet now. Sex time.”

Then, well, Faris just keeps on snogging Josh for a while. Maybe because he doesn’t know for sure what to do now or because he just can’t ice himself away from Josh’s snarling tongue and sharp little teeth. Josh’s fingernails scratch at his scalp and along his spine, too gentle to truly hurt.

It’s different now, obviously. Josh’s dirty and open-mouthed and Faris can’t stop dipping his tongue into him, never mind the taste, just barely bringing their tongues together. He could crawl into Josh’s mouth and live there for all he cares, wants for Josh to swallow him up entirely, which would be more than enough. Maybe it’s that thought amid the wet and warmth that makes his cock strain against his trackies and pants, maybe the friction of the position they’ve shifted into with Josh’s thighs bracketing his hips. Either way, he’s all the more aware of Josh’s chest now, the tissue of his breasts firm compared to how soft his belly and thighs are. His nipples peek through his shirt, and now Faris is much more aware of what’s between his legs, too. He can feel the heat on his cock even through all the layers of fabric between them.

Faris realises he should maybe pay attention to parts of Josh that aren’t his mouth only when Josh breaks away to whisper in his ear.

“You’ve got a stiffie.”

“I know,” he whispers back.

He thinks he can feel a hint of Josh’s give in return, how open he already is. His hands slip down to where Josh’s shirt ends and his pyjama bottoms begin. Faris doesn’t know what part of Josh he should focus on first, which piece of clothing he should take off first. For a second, his thumbs slip into Josh’s waistband, before he decides he should probably get them on equal footing first.

“Can I?” he asks, fingers tugging at the bottom of Josh’s t-shirt.

“Please.”

Faris doesn’t pull the shirt all the way off, merely hikes it up to above Josh’s breasts so he can cup one in his hand. The skin there is flushed a paler shade of pink than Josh’s cheeks, incredibly soft even with the goosebumps flaring up in the bare air. He squeezes the breast experimentally to feel it solid underneath a smushy layer of fat, gently flicks his thumb across the nipple, and he laughs.

“Your boob feels like a stress ball.”

He didn’t mean to say that out loud, but Josh cackles all the same, high-pitched and witchy. Faris leans in for a kiss to muffle it.

After, Josh says, “That’s one use for them.”

Faris squeezes again, more gentle this time around while he repeats the flicking motion on the nipple.

“This okay?”

“Yeah,” Josh says back. “Wait a second.”

He disentangles himself to pull his shirt over his head himself, and he discards it towards the bottom of the bed.

“Better.”

Josh winds his arms around Faris’ neck again, and Faris leans in for a kiss before Josh has the opportunity to initiate it himself. He brings his hand back to where it was before, before he pulls back to breathe and take a good look at Josh’s body again. His left hand moves to Josh’s other breast from where he was using it to hold himself up, a stark contrast between his soft brown and the pinkish white of Josh’s breasts. He presses both of them together, firmly enough for Josh’s nipples to appear cross-eyed, and he laughs again.

Josh lets out a stupidly cocky snort. “Something wrong with me?”

“No, no.”

Faris looks at Josh’s stupid scenester hairdo flattened and messy with bedhead, the flash of his fangs and the fading hickeys on his neck. He’s got straight lines of scars on his upper arm that match the ones Faris has on his thigh, thick dark hair under his arms. His breasts look round with the gravity, belly soft where it spills out over his waistband. He’s being the best Josh he could possibly be in that moment, and probably also the best human Faris could hope to have underneath him.

“You’re pretty much perfect.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

So Faris does, in the most obvious way. He presses their mouths back together and pinches Josh’s nipples, gently twiddles them with a motion like he’s trying to tune into a station on an old radio. His fingers are too dry, really, but Josh seems to enjoy it all the same judged by how his breathing increases against Faris’ lips.

They pull apart so they both can catch their breaths, and Faris can try to soothe the tingling in his lips by licking across them. When he attaches his mouth to Josh’s skin again it’s on his neck, where he’s still got the bruises Tom must have given him the other night. He runs his tongue over the mark before scraping his teeth over it, gently, gently. Josh seems to be enjoying it.

“You gonna give me another bruise?”

Maybe.

Faris settles down all the way on top of Josh so he can get the angle. His cock’s truly trapped in the warm, friction-y space between their bodies now, and he’s careful still when he sucks on the side of Josh’s neck. Underneath the salty skin, his heartbeat is thumping fast, and Faris listens for Josh’s sped-up breath. He can feel it, too, feel his ribcage heaving underneath his hands.

He only pulls back when Josh slips out a tiny pained noise, when the inside of his own mouth is tingling. Faris thinks maybe he’s gone too far.

“Was that too much?” he asks.

The bruise blooming on Josh’s neck is much darker than he expected it to turn out.

“Just right,” Josh says back. With his hand that was scritching at Faris’ scalp, he brings their mouths back together once again.

“D’you want me to give you another one?”

Josh makes a noncommittal noise. “You should suck on my tits.”

He gives a sleazy little fanged grin and shoves the top of Faris’ head to egg him on, and what’s Faris to do other than listen to what he says.

“Okay.”

Another kiss, slow and sloppy, and Faris wets his lips before he bends his back down to touch his mouth to Josh’s chest. The skin there is even softer than on his neck. He kisses his way across one breast before he flicks his tongue across the nipple, closes his mouth over it so he can keep playing the other one with his thumb. Josh’s nipples stretch over his breasts, the same pinkish shade of brown that his lips are. The points are already puffy and tightened so Faris can really _suck_ on the one he’s got, circles his tongue around it while he holds it in his mouth.

Josh vibrates for him like the purr of a cat, a gentle hum in his chest and the back of his throat. He keeps pulling Faris’ hair, forcing his head close to his… his tit, yeah. Faris pulls off for a second to lick his fingers, to get that wet-and-warm sensation onto Josh’s other nipple, too.

“I love your tits.”

Next thing, he ducks his head back down. His cheeks are hot, even hotter than his cock feels with the bloodrush. It’s stupid, really, especially when Josh hums out a louder noise of approval.

“I love them, too,” he says, which isn’t the answer Faris would have expected but undeniably the most _Josh_ answer he could have given. “Wait a second.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No, just give me a second.”

Josh disentangles himself to slot his thumbs in the waistband of his bottoms, lifts his hips to ruck them down. Faris reaches in to help him pull them all the way off his legs.

“No underwear,” Faris points out.

He leans back in to keep kneading Josh’s tits, to pepper kisses from his jaw to his neck to the swell of his breasts. Even then he can’t ignore Josh’s naked skin where his legs are spread around his hips, even with the barrier of his pants and trackies. Faris can’t ignore Josh’s _cunt_ pressed against his cock, can’t ignore that it’s there and pink and warm and waiting to be touched.

Josh cracks a crooked smile down at him, tiny chuckle slipping out. “More comfortable. I wasn’t expecting this.”

Faris laughs back at him before he slips Josh’s nipple into his mouth once again. His hand trails down to between his thighs.

“Yeah.” A big shuddery breath slips out along with it, and it sounds less like an encouragement and more like Josh really wanted to say, _Finally_.

He’s got more fur down there, thick coarse hair that’s already matted with slickness where it parts in the middle. Faris runs the length of his finger along the slit, and, once again, he really isn’t sure what to do now. His fingers rub aimless circles all across it, and at least he supposes it doesn’t feel _bad_ for Josh. Still, the angle’s uncomfortable and his fingers feel too big, too long to properly touch Josh.

“I want to go down on you,” Faris says the next time he releases his mouth from Josh’s nipple.

The bed’s too small for that, too short to possibly fit Faris curled between Josh’s legs, although really, that shouldn’t be his main concern about what he just said.

“Yeah,” Josh says back with his stupid sleazy smile. “Hang on, I’ll give you some space.”

He takes a second to fluff up the pillows, to shuffle up the mattress until he’s halfway sat up against the headboard. Once again, he’s glowing in the sunlight from outside, chest glistening with saliva where Faris had his mouth.

“Come here,” Josh insists and spreads his legs a bit wider to give Faris a proper view.

Then, it sinks in. Faris crawls over Josh to kiss him once again, hands and knees, but not before he squints out the window at the other side of the building across the inner court.

“Should we close the blinds?”

“No one’s even up at this hour,” Josh insists. “And I’ve never gotten any complaints.”

He’s so confident in his words when he says it Faris chooses to accept it, chooses to distract himself with snogging Josh some more before actually giving him head.

He leaves a trail of kisses leading down from Josh’s jaw when he slowly knees his way down the mattress. For a long second, he presses his lips to Josh’s soft belly when he’s reached the bottom of the bed. Finally, Faris kisses the patch of hair between Josh’s legs just above where it parts.

“I’ve never done this before, so you know.”

“But you want to?”

“Yeah,” Faris says, and he licks his lips as if to prove it. “Yeah, I want to.”

His thumbs spread Josh open when he leans in to kiss his inner thigh where it’s soft, open enough Faris can _smell_ how wet he is. When he touches his tongue to Josh’s cunt for the first time, he hopes that, maybe, it’s an instinctual thing.

And it _is_ an instinctual thing, probably, because it doesn’t take him much to get Josh shaky and squeezing his own tit and breathing heavy. Josh’s tangy-sweet with slick, and he likes it when Faris takes his clit into his mouth and licks across it in short, gentle flicks. He likes when Faris focusses entirely on tonguing his _actual_ hole, too, so he grinds against Faris’ nose at the same time. Josh likes it when Faris has to pull off to catch his breath or crack his aching jaw, when he uses his thumb on Josh’s clit instead and lays kisses onto his thighs and lower belly and lips. He likes pretty much everything that Faris does to him. Still, it catches Faris off-guard when Josh’s breathing gets sharp and all of him twitches, cunt squeezing down on the two fingers Faris has slotted inside it.

“Did you just come?” Faris asks.

The taste still resides on his lips and in his mouth when he pulls back. He pulls his fingers out as well, slowly even without the resistance around them.

Josh giggles like he just said something immensely stupid, and he says, “Yeah, I did, Bird.”

His one hand does a come-hither type movement.

“Come up here.”

“Don’t call me _Bird_ when we’re having sex,” Faris protests.

 _Really_ , the contrast is a bit jarring, but he doesn’t complain when Josh pulls him in for a proper kiss. Like this, Josh’s thighs surround his hips once again, and now Faris can feel even more than before how wet Josh is, how warm. Most importantly, how hard his own cock still is, which he completely blocked out from his thoughts the whole time he was licking Josh. Maybe that’s exactly what Josh is feeling too at that second.

“You gonna fuck me now?” he asks, voice casual and confident as ever.

“D’you still want to go?” Faris asks back. “‘cause we don’t have to. I mean, I don’t need to get off and you already came.”

It’s strange to think about, really, the thought of continuing with sex for the sake of _his_ orgasm, rather than going along with it for someone else.

“Yeah, I can still go,” Josh says.

His one hand sneaks down to Faris’ trackies and cups him through the fabric, to remind him that he does, indeed, have a cock.

“And I want to, and I mean, that was the whole point.”

“What was the point?” Faris asks. His pants are too tight and gross with precome sticking them to his bellend.

“The point was that you stick me with your dick, remember?”

“Yeah.”

He leans in for a snog, vaguely aware of Josh’s hands working at his waistband, pushing the trackies down past his arse. That’s really not the most comfortable position for them to be in, but Faris manages to slink them down to his ankles and wind himself out without getting up. Next, he reaches down himself to snag his pants underneath his bum and get his cock out, when the head bumps the patch of skin and fur just next to Josh’s cunt.

“Condoms?” Josh exhales.

“Don’t have any,” Faris says back. “I don’t usually top, so… Do you have…?”

“‘f course I do,” Josh says. “I just… forgot that we need one, for a second.”

Faris gives him enough space that he can sit up and fish out a tin foil wrapper and a bottle of lube, strawberry flavoured, from the bedside drawer.

“Always prepared,” Josh says when he presses the condom into Faris’ hand. “I think I’m wet enough you can go in without lube.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve had bigger.” Josh grins at him.

Faris doesn’t take it as a challenge. He only tears the wrapper open and rolls the condom over himself. It’s one of the colourful ones, a deep blue that, Faris presumes, wasn’t _intended_ to look like gangrene. Again, his cockhead knocks against Josh’s entrance, right where he’s wet and open. He draws a loose circle to spread the slick around some more.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Josh says. “Next time, I’ll top you, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Faris says out of reflex. He’s not sure when they decided they’d do this again, but he’s got more important things to focus on right now.

The first push is slow when he lines his cock up, excessively slow and tight. Josh sucks in a harsh breath through his teeth.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, it’s… It feels bigger now I’m not drunk anymore,” Josh says. He licks his own fingers and trails them down to between his legs, and he says, “Don’t stop.”

“Okay.”

Faris leans in to kiss Josh again, to cup one hand back around his breast. He starts up a rhythm of short, gentle thrusts. Josh’s loosening up around him, gently pulsing with how his fingers work, Faris can feel his knuckles scraping against his lower belly. Still, his cunt is so incredibly _tight_ , a much more direct pleasure than the one that comes from getting fucked. Faris is already worried he won’t last long, an overwhelming sensation of which he’s not sure whether he enjoys it or not. He focusses on keeping his thrusts consistent, instead, careful not to hurt.

Still, Josh pulls him away with one hand clawed into the back of his hair soon enough.

“Just so you know, if you come inside me, I’ll probably freak out, so just… Just pull out before and I’ll let you finish in my mouth or on my tits, okay?”

Faris isn’t going to ask. The thought of coming on Josh’s chest or his face sounds downright alienating, though, a grotesque fantasy pulled from a porn film. He only ever finished on his own belly, or inside the condom the other night, and while he usually lets Tom do it in his mouth and enjoys it just as well, Faris can’t see what the other party is supposed to get out of it.

Still, he kisses the bump of Josh’s collarbone under his skin and makes a noise of agreement.

“Like, even with the pill and the condom, I don’t think I can, so… Just pull out, please?”

“Yeah,” Faris says.

He leans in for a proper kiss, quick to push out any thoughts that might have crept up on whether that man Josh mentioned, his rapist, had done that to him.

“I can do that.”

They don’t speak anymore after that. The room turns quiet between the sighing of the bedsprings, the wet lips-smacking-lips sound of snogging, and their heavy breathing.

“Faris?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you…” Josh falters. “Can you pull out, really quick?”

“You want me to stop?”

“Not _stop_ , just. Please.”

“Okay.”

The sensation of sliding out of Josh is possibly even odder than that of first thrusting in, but Faris doesn’t want to focus on _that_ , of all things. He watches Josh raise his head up far enough to properly look at his cock, foreign with the blue latex stretched around it.

Josh says, “Okay.”

“You sure you want to carry on?” Faris asks.

“Yeah, yeah.” Josh beckons him to move in for another kiss. “Just really needed to see your dick. Don’t ask.”

Again, Faris won’t ask.

“Come on.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”

Josh hooks his arm around Faris’ shoulders once again to snog him properly. Even without the direct contact of sex they’re still close, close enough Faris can feel Josh’s knuckles at his belly as he plays with his clit. He figures he should listen to Josh and keep going. His cock pops in easy this time around and gives Josh a pleasant shudder, and he makes a long, drawn-out noise of satisfaction right against Faris’ ear.

“Now fuck me deep,” Josh instructs, fingers slotting into Faris’ hair to pull again. “Make me feel it.”

And Faris does. He lifts Josh’s legs up a bit higher to be able to properly pound him and gets a deeper and tighter angle out of it, and he slips his fingers into Josh’s mouth when he asks. Even then, that’s not enough to completely drown out his low moans. Josh’s insides pull at Faris’ cock, hot and wet like a sloppy blow job, like Josh’s sloppy mouth sucking on his fingers, but much more intense with the added tightness. A little bit, he gets the feeling that Josh’s cunt is going to squeeze an orgasm out of him whether he likes it or not. Faris is sure he won’t last long _now_.

To his credit, he manages to make Josh come for a second time before the pressure in his belly becomes too big and he has to pull out.

“I’m gonna come now,” he announces, just to make sure the sensation won’t startle Josh.

He carefully works the condom off his cock, and he keeps eye contact with Josh the whole time. Josh’s gone even pinker with fucking, tits soft and walleyed on his chest, and the look on his face says that this is the part he looked forward to.

“Where d’you want it?” he asks.

“On your belly,” Faris says.

With the hand that isn’t wanking him to his orgasm, he tilts Josh’s face up for a kiss. His palm is wet with spit on his cock, a good glide but underwhelming compared to being _inside_ Josh. Still, when he comes, Faris has to bite his lip to muffle the harsh gasp that would’ve slipped out otherwise. There’s less force behind it, unlike when he’s the one getting fucked, and yet, the payoff after that build-up is so satisfying he struggles to not collapse on top of Josh.

“That was good,” Josh says into his hair where he bowed his head down, voice just a bit shaky.

“Yeah, it was,” Faris says, not sure what else to say.

He looks for the bedside when he looks up, where he’s sure Josh kept a box of tissues, and he pulls one out and wipes up the mess he just made. Josh’s face is a mess, too, fringe sticking to his forehead with sweat, and with his eyes… Faris is pretty sure he’s crying, or about to, at least.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Of course I’m okay.”

“You’re crying,” Faris points out.

“Just a bit,” Josh insists. “I’m gonna have a good cry when you’re gone. Just don’t want you to see it.”

Faris says, “okay.”

He pulls his pants back up and moves to sit on the edge of the bed, and Josh simply watches him.

“You’re okay, though, right? Don’t feel gross or guilty?”

“It’s not about that,” Josh insists.

“Okay.”

It’s most definitely not okay, but Faris isn’t going to argue about it. If Josh says it’s okay, it’s okay for now, until he’s ready to talk about it. That’s what Faris tells himself, at least. The sweat’s beginning to dry on his skin in a tacky film. Faris really needs a shower.

“I need to shower,” he says.

“Yeah, me too.” Josh sits up and makes the mattress squeak once again, and he reaches for his t-shirt that somehow ended up on the window ledge. “You remember where everything is, right?”

“Yeah.”

Faris gets up to find Josh’s basket of toiletries, somewhat overwhelmed with the feeling of not knowing what to do, and then he hears Josh’s voice coming from behind him once again.

“Faris?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m okay. Okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> I feel obligated to point out that not all survivors are comfortable with having certain kinds of sex, or even performing any sexual acts at all, and that I do not condone Josh's coping methods. I don't believe trauma stemming from sexual assault can be instantly fixed or reversed by consensual, pleasurable sex and I tried very hard to avoid the fanfiction trope of _magical healing cock_ in this fic. however, I apologise if it still comes off that way to anyone reading this.


End file.
